A Hallmark holiday for sure. And yet one I wish I was spending with my husband. Instead, I’m spending the night with my cats. Although it’s arguably not a bad way to spend my time.
My husband and I have been together since 2009 and we have yet to spend this holiday together. It’s not for lack of trying on my part. This year I tried setting a calendar reminder for a dinner date. It was declined and replaced with an overnight shift.
You don’t have to be single to be lonely. In fact, in some ways, this feels worse. The guilt can be all-encompassing. To know that I can put all of my time and energy into working and still have nothing to show for it is terrifying.
This life of contentment I’m striving for doesn’t seem real. Not on days like this.
So just for today, as I sit down for the night to work, I’ll allow myself to feel sad. Because there’s still hope that tomorrow will be a better day.